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October 27th, 2006

02:20 pm
hey guys....long time no see/talk/or hear of!!
got news tires...things are good...
i hope all is well
love and miss you all...
oh yeah
new job!
and then yeah for like 2 weeks then back to CASA DE AGUA!!
under new mgnt.
and new name...dont know it yet.
love love

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August 13th, 2006

02:27 am
i am wishing i had a life.....
i work non-stop from 6am or 10am all the way to possibly midnight.....
i do nothing but fucking work and sleep so i can do it all over again....
i am off on sundays....sometimes....
i did not mean to just dissapear out of my life...but...i did...not much i can do thought it IS just me.

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July 30th, 2006

04:07 pm
well i had this long entry typed out and hit the escape button....
but it was mostly saying how i have checked my friends lj's........... and seen the true words on certain issues...
tickling is not gropeing.....but still.

i left b/c i didn't want to say anything that would hurt you or our friendship because i love you dearly....

and that i hope nat gets better....

and that.........??
i forgot

love you ladies...but we all know we needed a break from eachother.....so i left...
and that is all i have to say....

life is good for me....deadline is on the 18 i have 250.....shoot me...
staw paper and vine and bark rings....he loves me.
get better....b/c i can't fix you.
what do you do when the world between you and your friens collide...i would love to just give in and say i am sorry...but i have to stick up for myself in the meantime.

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May 4th, 2006

10:09 pm
okay so i heard what sounded like fall out boy
this pary
"we are only liars but we're the best..."
and then a lown singing hum of something...
and then jay telling us that she loved us....
i am so sorry i could not make it to walmart...i was at sonic and tried.....
but it did not work out...
but your sister is having a grand time...
she really needed this break.
i am happy for her.
i now want to go to a FOB concert...
Current Location: home
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: FOB

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April 30th, 2006

09:54 pm - this is for you my friends...whom i love very very much..lord.
its a ghost town baby, and we are driving crazy/when you relie on all your friends. i have seen people sucked in, there is no way to stop them, from becoming walking dead. You're still living but barely breathing. Get out while you can, Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and dont look back. You're gone.

Its a ghost town sister, i have seen your dreams wither, and thats what giving me the creeps. Spent your whole life waiting, in a town thats fadeing, its a never ending sleep. You're still breathing barely breathing get out while you can, Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back. just drive away cause nothing here will change you, drive away and don't look back.

You will be so alone here, and drink all alone here, nobody feels like we feel like we do, we are all alone here, we will die all alone here, no one and nobody feels like we do, like we do.
Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back.

just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back. just drive away cause nothing here will change you, drive away and don't look back. you're still living barely breathing get out while you can.

man....to know that both of you will most likely be out of state for a while...
in a way i am still sad but still excited for you guys.
so i went to a catholic church today and yeah i had not been to church in years. It was definately diff. and in a way i liked it...
I went to Solita's confermation. And it was alyssa's also...i saw here there but we didn't talk...and nat did not talk to me either....
but he did call afterwards...and let me know things were still cool, and i let him know that he should hang out with his friends more, and he let me know that our friends are always going out of town (which is true) and that we were still in school. and i was OH!! haha...
i talked to my father last night and it was not good...at all....
he will no co-sign for me to get an apartment and wants me to move off to some university.
i am done.
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: a band i do not know...haah but they are really good

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April 19th, 2006

06:59 pm - What do you do when two of your closest friends are taken away by the ways of life?
do not worry i am missing you.
so so much.
by the way....i finally got that new job...but i am kind of regreting it...you are leaving in a matter of days...and i just wish i could see you forever and ever...
maybe this get away is the best thing for you and i truly hope it is....
though i am going to miss you so fucking much. you better call me when you get there and while you are at the show...
find a way damnit.
i love you so so much lady.
things will be fine in a matter of time.
i just do not want you to see the tears streaming down my face.
sometimes ya'll are all i have got.
i think its time to move on for all of us.....?!?!
:( :( :(
bagh.....no more awesome starbucks moments....
i hate it i hate it i hate it
but i love it.
you get a chance to live, to do things on your own.
all i can do is wish you guys the best of luck
hugs and kisses from all around, and a robot charge.
road trips, crazy mexicans, to cig breaks at albertsons.
i can't.
Current Location: mi casa
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Law &Order:Svu

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April 8th, 2006

01:22 pm - MY LOVELY LADIES!!!!
IOU 15 dollars.......
and my car is dying again.
but maybe i can make it....ya know...
and play a board game or something....while at the park...
i miss you girls like soo much.
ummmm...life is running on empty so i am not sure if we could keep it going.....its sad how money makes this world go fucking round.
robots tonight for sure....if i can makes it.
b/c....i heard you call yourselves hunters.and.....i will not be the bait.
Current Mood: happyhappy

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March 30th, 2006

08:33 pm - Some will seek forgiveness, Others Escape.
well i finaaly got some information!!!
I miss my lovely sooo so so much....but hey....i am still living...when i go on my cruise i will have to wait just as long until i get to see him. So hey....i am good. Just because i know i should talk to him on Monday, b/c John said so!!
best news all week.
The girls always bring good news. If it was not for Jay stalking his phone then i would have never known.
I have decided that i need more friends on this thing...like hxc.
so yeah add me por favor...and somehow let me know that you did...haha
i needs more people. Not saying that the twins are boreing me or anything....it would be nice to have some feed back sometimes right?? haha
gosh....even though things feel horrid...i know they are okay.

so i met a pervert today....do i need to watch my back every time i walk up your walk way....haha and watch the windows??

ROBOTS....my god....i need to charge someone.
my ro's battery has died and needs recharging.
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Saturday- FALL OUT BOY!!!!

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March 26th, 2006

10:16 pm - I was told to fuck off by my boyfriends mother.
My wonderful love story has turned into the horrors of Romeo and Juliet.
Must we die to be able to be happy?.....we would live and burn in hell....b/c apparently we are the worst walking on the face of this planet.
Ha. I remember when we first began....your mother telling me how wonderful she thought we were....and then i was childish for not wanting to use birth control and that i cried over my car, and then we were good again.....oh and now i am killing you with my smoke......i do not put a gun to your head and tell you to light up.
I started to write a letter to her last night....but towards the end i forgot what i was saying sorry for......i did not sign it b/c it would not have been good enough.
"then just fuck off" what a way to tie the peices together.....Ro....what if this was the end of it all?
B/c right now it just seems that all i am doing is fucking up your life.....I used to pray to god that your mother would not get sick anymore and i would pray over and over for her to be healthy.....it feels as if was a waste of time. I loved her soo much and stuck up for her when you told me you were mad at her.....but then.....groundings b/c of pillow cases??? I seriously believe that this isn't about you anymore....its me. My mother is right.....she is probably pissed off at me for saying the things i do sometimes....well hell.....i am mad...i will say what is true....
god. Ro. I know she is going to read this...and won't tell you...but. I love you.....if this is the end.....god i hope you can be happy. Move to your dads.....be happy....I am tired of seeing a frown on your face.....of seeing you cry. but then again....i don't want you to get in trouble down there.....or get caught in a fight.....FUCK...WHAT?!?!? IS THE BEST FOR YOU???? you are stuck at the fork in the road.....and to me i am not in either of those pictures....i will develope my camera...and mail you a picture...
We have both hit rock botom.....i can see you sitting in your room....trying to play your guitar....but i see you lying down instead....
I am glad that she has made it clear that she doesn't like me.........a question i no longer have to ponder over....from the day i met you.....i know we would always be together....just as friends or as lovers....from the day i met you i seemed to have always kept your spirits up....i made you smile when you cried...i soothed your anger when you were mad. I think it is funny how blind i was from the start.....how everyone told us we would be married...haha.....
Rosendo...my answer to your statement/question everytime we say bye...is YES...YES YES.... lets press fast forward.....and then rewind.....i just want to know how it would be.....
I am sorry Diana for loving your son so entirly much....
i never broke the promise of letting him smoke.....i never handed him another one after that.....he had to get if from someone else....
I do believe in the lord....just not in the functions of getting there....he shows me shit in mysterious ways....well....the way my lungs have been hurting and chokeing.....it is about time.....its not for her....it would be for me....i just keep on trucking in spite of her now....i don't want her to think that i listen to every word she says.....i am feeling rebelious....
i am me...and that is why you love me.
I love you....i shall go now for days with no end of not sleeping....and barely eating....I am sorry....its just the way it goes when you are this low....
and oh yeah. don't feel sorry for me if you read this....and no i am not lashing out towards her.....i am just putting my words on paper.....
I have come to realize that i will never see her face again.....i don't think i want to....
Ro's birthday bar-b-que.....very quiet i knew something was up. Ro.....you are not the problem anymore....its me....and i am sure its b/c i love you.
and that i want to be with you every moment....a whole year...i will have to wait for us to be as happy as we could ever be.....i love you....
wow...how things could change....
its like a restraining order...on me
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

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02:45 pm
I have noticed.....that you may hurt someone sooo much...and one day you are friends again.
but....of course it is never the same.
Yet i pray for to be like it used to be soooo much. I am tired of the quiet conversations....those random weeks of not talking to each other....i am tired of it all.
It is like we are friends but not.....sometimes i think that ordeal just pops back up again...eventhough you seem completly happy.
i don't know.
I just wanted to say that i wish things could be fun and crazy again.
Underoath....i have to buy that cd.
i love you loser face.

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