kris_thingtwo

kris_thingtwo @ 2006-10-27T14:20:00

2006-10-27T19:28:14Z

hey guys....long time no see/talk/or hear of!!
got news tires...things are good...
i hope all is well
love and miss you all...
oh yeah
new job!
aculpulco....
and then yeah for like 2 weeks then back to CASA DE AGUA!!
under new mgnt.
and new name...dont know it yet.
~~kris~~
love love

kris_thingtwo @ 2006-08-13T02:27:00

2006-08-13T07:23:23Z

i am wishing i had a life.....
i work non-stop from 6am or 10am all the way to possibly midnight.....
i do nothing but fucking work and sleep so i can do it all over again....
i am off on sundays....sometimes....
i did not mean to just dissapear out of my life...but...i did...not much i can do thought it IS just me.
~~kris~~

kris_thingtwo @ 2006-07-30T16:07:00

2006-07-30T21:12:52Z

well i had this long entry typed out and hit the escape button....
but it was mostly saying how i have checked my friends lj's........... and seen the true words on certain issues...
tickling is not gropeing.....but still.

i left b/c i didn't want to say anything that would hurt you or our friendship because i love you dearly....

and that i hope nat gets better....

and that.........??
haha
i forgot

love you ladies...but we all know we needed a break from eachother.....so i left...
and that is all i have to say....

life is good for me....deadline is on the 18 i have 250.....shoot me...
staw paper and vine and bark rings....he loves me.
:)
get better....b/c i can't fix you.
~~kris~~
what do you do when the world between you and your friens collide...i would love to just give in and say i am sorry...but i have to stick up for myself in the meantime.

kris_thingtwo @ 2006-05-04T22:09:00

2006-05-05T03:09:08Z

okay so i heard what sounded like fall out boy
this pary
"we are only liars but we're the best..."
and then a lown singing hum of something...
and then jay telling us that she loved us....
NAT
i am so sorry i could not make it to walmart...i was at sonic and tried.....
but it did not work out...
:(
but your sister is having a grand time...
she really needed this break.
i am happy for her.
~~kris~~
i now want to go to a FOB concert...
I AM MAD JEALOUS.
haha

this is for you my friends...whom i love very very much..lord.

2006-05-01T03:24:10Z

its a ghost town baby, and we are driving crazy/when you relie on all your friends. i have seen people sucked in, there is no way to stop them, from becoming walking dead. You're still living but barely breathing. Get out while you can, Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and dont look back. You're gone.

Its a ghost town sister, i have seen your dreams wither, and thats what giving me the creeps. Spent your whole life waiting, in a town thats fadeing, its a never ending sleep. You're still breathing barely breathing get out while you can, Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back. just drive away cause nothing here will change you, drive away and don't look back.

You will be so alone here, and drink all alone here, nobody feels like we feel like we do, we are all alone here, we will die all alone here, no one and nobody feels like we do, like we do.
Just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back.

just drive away cause no one here will save you, drive away and don't look back. just drive away cause nothing here will change you, drive away and don't look back. you're still living barely breathing get out while you can.

phew....
haha.
man....to know that both of you will most likely be out of state for a while...
in a way i am still sad but still excited for you guys.
agh...
so i went to a catholic church today and yeah i had not been to church in years. It was definately diff. and in a way i liked it...
I went to Solita's confermation. And it was alyssa's also...i saw here there but we didn't talk...and nat did not talk to me either....
but he did call afterwards...and let me know things were still cool, and i let him know that he should hang out with his friends more, and he let me know that our friends are always going out of town (which is true) and that we were still in school. and i was OH!! haha...
AND YEAH
i talked to my father last night and it was not good...at all....
he will no co-sign for me to get an apartment and wants me to move off to some university.
i just do not know....ASLDKFJ;ALSKDJF;LAKSJDF;LASKJDF
i am done.
~~kris~~

What do you do when two of your closest friends are taken away by the ways of life?

2006-04-19T23:59:26Z

do not worry i am missing you.
so so much.
by the way....i finally got that new job...but i am kind of regreting it...you are leaving in a matter of days...and i just wish i could see you forever and ever...
maybe this get away is the best thing for you and i truly hope it is....
though i am going to miss you so fucking much. you better call me when you get there and while you are at the show...
find a way damnit.
haha
i love you so so much lady.
~~kris~~
things will be fine in a matter of time.
i just do not want you to see the tears streaming down my face.
sometimes ya'll are all i have got.
i think its time to move on for all of us.....?!?!
:( :( :(
bagh.....no more awesome starbucks moments....
i hate it i hate it i hate it
but i love it.
you get a chance to live, to do things on your own.
all i can do is wish you guys the best of luck
hugs and kisses from all around, and a robot charge.
road trips, crazy mexicans, to cig breaks at albertsons.
gosh.
i can't.
~~kris~~

MY LOVELY LADIES!!!!

2006-04-08T18:22:47Z

IOU 15 dollars.......
and my car is dying again.
haha
but maybe i can make it....ya know...
WE SHOULD GO WATCH THE FIREWORKS TONIGHT AT THE PARK!!!!!!!
and play a board game or something....while at the park...
haha
i miss you girls like soo much.
ummmm...life is running on empty so i am not sure if we could keep it going.....its sad how money makes this world go fucking round.
~~kris~~
robots tonight for sure....if i can makes it.
WATCH OUT HOES!!!
b/c....i heard you call yourselves hunters.and.....i will not be the bait.

Some will seek forgiveness, Others Escape.

2006-03-31T02:39:44Z

YAY!!!
well i finaaly got some information!!!
I miss my lovely sooo so so much....but hey....i am still living...when i go on my cruise i will have to wait just as long until i get to see him. So hey....i am good. Just because i know i should talk to him on Monday, b/c John said so!!
YAYAYAYA
best news all week.
The girls always bring good news. If it was not for Jay stalking his phone then i would have never known.
I have decided that i need more friends on this thing...like hxc.
so yeah add me por favor...and somehow let me know that you did...haha
i needs more people. Not saying that the twins are boreing me or anything....it would be nice to have some feed back sometimes right?? haha
gosh....even though things feel horrid...i know they are okay.

so i met a pervert today....do i need to watch my back every time i walk up your walk way....haha and watch the windows??

ROBOTS....my god....i need to charge someone.
my ro's battery has died and needs recharging.
teehee...
sssssshhhh!!!!
~~kris~~

I was told to fuck off by my boyfriends mother.

2006-03-27T04:15:12Z

My wonderful love story has turned into the horrors of Romeo and Juliet.
Must we die to be able to be happy?.....we would live and burn in hell....b/c apparently we are the worst walking on the face of this planet.
Ha. I remember when we first began....your mother telling me how wonderful she thought we were....and then i was childish for not wanting to use birth control and that i cried over my car, and then we were good again.....oh and now i am killing you with my smoke......i do not put a gun to your head and tell you to light up.
I started to write a letter to her last night....but towards the end i forgot what i was saying sorry for......i did not sign it b/c it would not have been good enough.
"then just fuck off" what a way to tie the peices together.....Ro....what if this was the end of it all?
B/c right now it just seems that all i am doing is fucking up your life.....I used to pray to god that your mother would not get sick anymore and i would pray over and over for her to be healthy.....it feels as if was a waste of time. I loved her soo much and stuck up for her when you told me you were mad at her.....but then.....groundings b/c of pillow cases??? I seriously believe that this isn't about you anymore....its me. My mother is right.....she is probably pissed off at me for saying the things i do sometimes....well hell.....i am mad...i will say what is true....
god. Ro. I know she is going to read this...and won't tell you...but. I love you.....if this is the end.....god i hope you can be happy. Move to your dads.....be happy....I am tired of seeing a frown on your face.....of seeing you cry. but then again....i don't want you to get in trouble down there.....or get caught in a fight.....FUCK...WHAT?!?!? IS THE BEST FOR YOU???? you are stuck at the fork in the road.....and to me i am not in either of those pictures....i will develope my camera...and mail you a picture...
We have both hit rock botom.....i can see you sitting in your room....trying to play your guitar....but i see you lying down instead....
I am glad that she has made it clear that she doesn't like me.........a question i no longer have to ponder over....from the day i met you.....i know we would always be together....just as friends or as lovers....from the day i met you i seemed to have always kept your spirits up....i made you smile when you cried...i soothed your anger when you were mad. I think it is funny how blind i was from the start.....how everyone told us we would be married...haha.....
Rosendo...my answer to your statement/question everytime we say bye...is YES...YES YES.... lets press fast forward.....and then rewind.....i just want to know how it would be.....
I am sorry Diana for loving your son so entirly much....
i never broke the promise of letting him smoke.....i never handed him another one after that.....he had to get if from someone else....
I do believe in the lord....just not in the functions of getting there....he shows me shit in mysterious ways....well....the way my lungs have been hurting and chokeing.....it is about time.....its not for her....it would be for me....i just keep on trucking in spite of her now....i don't want her to think that i listen to every word she says.....i am feeling rebelious....
i am me...and that is why you love me.
I love you....i shall go now for days with no end of not sleeping....and barely eating....I am sorry....its just the way it goes when you are this low....
and oh yeah. don't feel sorry for me if you read this....and no i am not lashing out towards her.....i am just putting my words on paper.....
I have come to realize that i will never see her face again.....i don't think i want to....
Ro's birthday bar-b-que.....very quiet i knew something was up. Ro.....you are not the problem anymore....its me....and i am sure its b/c i love you.
and that i want to be with you every moment....a whole year...i will have to wait for us to be as happy as we could ever be.....i love you....
wow...how things could change....
~~kris~~
its like a restraining order...on me

kris_thingtwo @ 2006-03-26T14:45:00

2006-03-26T20:46:24Z

I have noticed.....that you may hurt someone sooo much...and one day you are friends again.
but....of course it is never the same.
Yet i pray for to be like it used to be soooo much. I am tired of the quiet conversations....those random weeks of not talking to each other....i am tired of it all.
It is like we are friends but not.....sometimes i think that ordeal just pops back up again...eventhough you seem completly happy.
i don't know.
I just wanted to say that i wish things could be fun and crazy again.
Underoath....i have to buy that cd.
i love you loser face.
~~kris~~

my world is full of bright colors.

2006-03-24T05:12:09Z

guys....he is my one and only....
i could never ever....ever be with out him. We are starting to have our little "you are pissing me off at the moments" but hey they never turn bad. we both know when....shit he/she has had enough....let them cool down kiss them laters.

i love it i love him.....i love love love everything about him. His Crazy ass fucking home town. HIS DAD IS AMAZING.....completely opposite of what your mother has told me....completely opp.
Yeah Yeah, i know he wasn't there for you when you were born. I KNOW how it feels to not have your father around.....to not be there for you when you scrape your knee...i know how it feels...i really do. but you know what . i love my dad....i know he loves me. I know your father loves you....this is what he told me. "rosendo is my baby. he is still learning, i love him. he is all that i have got. he is my son my child. my everything. please treat him right" that is what he told me. I wanted to cry...Baby i am not all that you have got. Your dad will be there for you....throught the thick and the thin.
and so will i....YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY.
you are amazing. i just can't get enought of you.
i want more.
haha
scary right?

anyways. life is grand as you can tell, I am on my way to be a Vet Tech....living life. YUM i want to eat it all up. haha
Corpus was fun...bright green lights....."nice fireworks...fuck face."
Robstown is the place to be.
i advise that you visit....for a day or two....it only takes two days....to get the full effect.but i love it.
CAT FOOD IS THE GATEWAY TO LOVE....
phone calls with no one on the other line....is horrid.
BAGH.....
i love the girls...they are the cooolest......haha sunburns to die for.
haha busting ass with skim boards....haa it is fun to watch the first timers....
i was sitting there knowing all the tricks and not telling anyone...because (haha i just got a phone call from some random person....telling me they were bringing money tomarrow for some STUFF....haaha but that they had no clue who they were going to talk to for it.....WHAT AM I A DRUG DEALER NOW?!?!?! HAHA ANYWAYS) SERIOUSLY....watching my lovely fall on his ass was really entertaining.....i tried to tell him how to keep from falling...but no....he finally figured it out though...i got bored we left. haha
AND...my car was attacked by telephone lines...haha crazy mexicans.
Acuras........god i hate that kid.....he was psycho and almost had me killed.
TIMMMY!!!!
that kid is grand.....so so grand.
funny as hell and has this super awesome phone that is fucking broken.....haha i was listening to a recorded fight....off of his phone....
the time that kid has......god.
no seriously he is funny as shit and is afraid of ghosts.
haah
well
all in all life is good....i shall go lay down and wait for my one and only to call me....
a promise i shall keep.
peace love and crabs everybody.
~~kris~~

THE picture...that surpasses all.

2006-02-12T21:14:41Z

i must have it...b/c it will be the only one i would own of all of us togethers.....
so i shall have it....
you better or you won't be charged....HEHE...
*dreams*.....
me and ro should be robots......i think only girls can charge boys....and boys charge girls....b/c...yeah...then it would be crazy...haha
the lesbian robots and the gay robots....can charge theirselves....hehe....
love it.
you can have gay robots too.....fun.
love ya
~~kris~~
its funny how things would work out...even if you WERE a robot....
you can CRANK them gears.
yes!!

you don't know the meanings of the word "im sorry"

2005-12-04T01:39:03Z

why.....why does life for us have to be so hard??? I just do not understand....if its not one thing its another. so this week starts off with...hmmm i can't even remember....I don't know if it was the lj ordeal or something else...but to top it off, i get stopped by officer Harst.....and then i get this headache that no medicine cures....i knew it had to be something bad.....well it turns out that my Grandfather died b/t 130 and 200....which is about the time i got my headache.....

My grandfather died with a secret in him....its soo hard....i love him so much he is all i have.....he understood everything that i would tell me....he listened...only family member who would listen and not get on to me. i love him so much and i will miss him.

Well that night, that i found out i was at work...but i stayed and when i felt like crying i would go to the office or to the bathroom.I did a whole 20 top by myself....yes alyssa and miley helped me take out the food.but most of the time i was on my own.i am sure alyssa would have helped more...but she had like a million tables....i am sorry dear.but anyways...miley leaves before us all and barely does anything....i almost get fired.i AM fired from albertsons i believe.i miss ro.i haven't talked to him......makes me want to cry...he is going to cry and then i will cry more b/c he is crying and i will feel bad....but i love him and miss him soo much.

i think i am going to bring him with me.....i will drive in tomarrow and pick him up and bring him back with me.....i want to so bad.haha thats about how much i miss him.and he never gets out anymore...so i think he should come with me.i know ally wouldn't be able to come....i just need a friend with me...BAGH.....i have to end this now...

i don't want to leave for college yet.

**i have a dirty little secret**i won't tell because it will just be another regret**

~~kris~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADIES!!!!!!

2005-11-28T04:55:20Z

i didn't call and i know it.
i am super sorry.
but this right here is just for you gals!

the big 2 2 yep yep....getting older!!!
you make think that is just another year to have everything fuck up in your lives...but no.
It will all pan out you just have to give it some time and have some faith.
I love you girls sooo much and if i didn't think things would be better...i would help yall out as much as i could.
but it will i promise you this.
I know yall didn't want to celebrate...and i really wanted to throw a party for yall but yall seriously did not want one....so i gave up!!! BAGH!!!
I hope yalls birthday "day" was an alright day...
but yeah...
i am going to hit the sack...
love yall lots!
~~kris~~

kris_thingtwo @ 2005-11-24T14:55:00

2005-11-24T21:03:38Z

hmmm lets see...
i am on vacation...that i have awaited for so long. A time that i could go and see my father...and look at me i am on the computer.
but this time is also for me to start thinking things through and start telling my dad the happenings of my life.
I know a lot of things will be a disapointment to him.but how would i know when he rarely calls me.
but i still love him.i want to tell him how me and Ro are moving to austin as soon as i am let free...how i am soo ready to just leave kerrville behind...all my bad memories as well as the good ones.I want to tell him how me and ro are going to go off and burn Chucks sweater on his car...b/c he key'd mine.(ass)
I want to tell him how i had my heart torn from my chest.....i want to tell him how many times i have been used. i want to tell him how i am not going to Auburn when i jump out of the birds nest.
i want to tell him how i am going to be living with a boy....i want to tell him how this past week was...the happenings of tuesday.....i want to tell him that i love him. i want to tell him how much i miss him. i want to tell him that i look forward to the day that he walks me down the isle....i want to tell him how i cant wait for that kiss on the cheek that sets me free...................i want to tell him sooo many things...i just cant bring myself to do it.
i love my dad.
last night was insane maddness though....as soo as we picked up alyssa...i started not to feel well...and i was just letting everything on my mind out....i felt bad b/c i know some things she just did not want to hear...somethings were hurtful....
but it felt like she lost all faith in me last night so i got real sad and stopped talking....
well that is all for now love you all

when life gives me lemons...i make beef stew.

2005-11-22T04:17:23Z

i just had a oober long talk with my mother...
and i am afraid she is right.
i am sorry..
i have left all my reasons behind...and listened to hers..
im sorry.
~~kris~~

i don't know what i just did.

2005-11-17T05:20:33Z

i feel that this is the only way to talk to you...i am sorry that i told you that i wasn't ready for a serious relationship. its not that i don't like you...i do...b/c i would not have gotten up this morning if i didn't.
i just hope things dont go down hill from here.
from what i know about you...you seem really cool...
like right now...we are still talking which i am very happy about.
i just hope i didn't hurt you...
i feel soo immature..b/c i almost feel like i am playing with your emotions...but just know that i really am not trying too..

maybe our time with come right?
i just don't want to jump right into it.
and i am so so sorry.
now back to our convo.

~~kris~~

its almost over.

2005-11-15T04:54:23Z

so about 20 min. ago...i filled out my graduation packet information....

thank you cards and the whole you are invited cards...
bagh!!!!
it is almost over.
I think i have decided to take a year off though...and try things on my own.
My Mom is moving to Cali without me....and is going to live on the beach with her fiance....whos deadly rich.
Navy.
that is his excuse.
(((!!!!ro just called and asked me if i could pick his ass up at 4 in the fucking morning!!!!)))i said yes...

but yeah...so everyone is moving to Cali.
I am going to wait a year before i go off to college...where ever the hell i go.
I had like this whole life plan since i was a little girl...and now it has gone to shit....
I am soo different than everyone else yet im and just the same...everything falls apart right in front of my eyes. i thought i would be the one to withstand it all...being such the hardheaded little shit that i am...i though i could take it on.
but no...i don't even want to leave i dont want to grow up...i still want to be that little girl that runs to her closet when she wants to cry...the one that hides her tears so she could be strong for others. The one that still has to pick up her room b/c her momma told her so.
I still want to be a child...i don't feel as if i haven't done it all.

but im going to try it....taking a year off.
i might stay in Kerrville for a little while...while my friends grad...and yeah maybe i will go to just a little college and not some high dollar university like my father wishes. I love Auburn though...i could get back on the team...and be a gymnast again...and not have my body cramps anymore...I could work at a clinic there...and bust out my vet tech hours.

I hate making decisions.

If i stay in town...i need a room mate...
girls...don't move...we can live together...with the money you two make...yall can buy an okay car...wanna honda like mine?? i can hook you up...wanna a newer car but no payments....i can hook you up...i really can.

but if it really is best that yall move away...then do it. as long as you guys are happy.
I am almost out...i am about to be kicked into a world that i hope i will be ready for.....*crosses fingers*
awww....
so i hear that my number will be given away tomarrow...
haha...
cute.
Just know...that i ummmm....am very...cautious now.
its not all entirly my fault...
i tried so hard to not close myself to others....but it just happens...

Friday Night?
well...I have to work 5-9....at my other job.
sucks...i know.
im sorry.

but yeah...i just assume that you have read my entry's...well the ones i wrote about you...haha.
so i don't really know what to say except that i am glad that you like my hair.haha
and that...i don't think you would go to jail....
i um....kind of know....every cop in this town....
they are all very good friends of the family...
so you can just guess what my mom has to say about this situation...she kind of read over my shoulder...
haha and wants to know why to you went to jail...
oh yeah so do i..
haha

she doesn't approve...but she know that i don't give what she thinks...
p.s.
dont take forever to update.

~~kris~~
.drove me nuts.

i cant wait to leave.

2005-11-13T20:14:33Z

bagh....

this town....is driving me insane...

i used to never come home b/c i really dislike my younger brother...
yes i said younger brother...but he truly is the spawn of the devil.
he is just like his father which is really sad.

and his father....tore me to pieces....beat me...i hated him with a pasion..
but its not that easy to get rid of a blood to blood family member....i cant hit my brother b/c i am afriad that if i started i wouldn't stop...
i would hit him b/c i was mad at him and then all i would see was his father...
i love my brother to dearly to hit him.....but i dislike him sooo much...

it is sad to say..but i know that when i move out...he will be the brother i never call.or want to see.
it makes me so mad to think that i could ever have these hateful feeling towards my brother..but its truly him that makes me this way. i try so hard.
but fuck it. it takes two not just one.

~~kris~~

hmmm?

2005-11-10T05:01:21Z

so my last entry i made it friends only....i think i should change it....

but not right now...maybe now is not the right time...

**
and its odd how you mix the two and it starts just when life makes sense to feel the love you can not miss.and it burns a hole through everyone who feels it.well you're never gunna find it if you're lookin for it.won't come your way.

should have done something but i've done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you.

and you never would have thought in the end how amazing it feels just to live again, to feel a love you can not miss it burns a hole through everyone who feels it.

should have done something but i've done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you.
should have said something but i've said it enough, by the way my words were fadeing, rather waste my time with you.

**

haha...i don't know.
that really is a good song.
so are all the rest of the songs on this cd.
i don't know what is up with me tonight....well not even just tonight...
have you ever had those times where you know you have to get up and get on top of things...and set things straight...but you just don't do it?
well that is me right now.
i have all these tests to take....just to get into the school i want...but i won't do it....i know i can keep my grades up..i just don't do it.
but i still try.

**
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
**

Ro....hes like really down right now....and i have been in his shoes...and i know that to get back with the person...just b/c yall are talking again might help...but it doesn't...
he doesn't realize that.
but i know that anything that someone might tell you to help you feel better....
really and truly it goes through one ear and out the other...
when you are that low nothing else matters...
all you try to do is try to find that one thing that would make you feel better...and that is what in the end...turned around and hurt you

i cry for him...i love him.
i dont know how i am going to manage leaving him when i go off to school
my one and only brother...
well not my only borther....just one that i confide in

" YOU ARE MY SISTER...HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT KRISTIAN!!! you know me better than anyone...."
"ro....im sorry...."

that is what happened at work today...
i seriously almost started to cry right there in the middle of everything...
pushing my red buttons on the screen...customers yelling at me...
and trying to help ro.
and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

**
is it worth it can you even hear me.
**

oh. this weekend should be intresting...
i hope that it all ties together.
(hmmm)
a movie night...
i am guessing its going to be me jay nat and zach...also this other awesome person...
r
ra
Ray
ay
y

lol that was fun
anyways...hes this super cool *replace the word kid with something else* (ha)
that works at albertsons..
in produce with Ro.
Ro thinks he is super.
mee too
he cracks me up...
he once told me that i could get more than 20% of the male pop. in Kerrville arrested...
i had no comment.
lol
i still dont

i have many questions....
that i really do want answered.
i just don't know how to ask with out truly knowing what is going on.
bagh.
so yeah I saw chuck today.
haha
i love how we ignore eachother....
not even friends...but all the hatred and saddness is leaving me....like today...i didn't want to run him over or something...when i saw him i saw a time before it all play again in my mind...and i laughed

the time when he was driving and i randomly stuck my foot on the gas and scared the shit out of him....
haha
it really was funny b/c we barely knew eachother and he thought i was trying to kill us both.
haha

i miss old friendships like that...fun ones...
ruben is really the only friend i have after a hard break up...

by the way...
ruben left a voice mail with a song that made me feel okay...

the whole
"i know were cool"
by Gwen...

if i answered the phone that would have been the first time in a while i would have talke to him outside of lunch.

haha i was emotional today...
its okay though everyone has those days right?
or am i like insane...

no.
lol
i love my life actually...if i could just get my act together and get my shit straight.
i will adventually.
okay so i think i have waited long enough for one of the twins to get on....
i am oober tired now.

IM awaiting this awesome weekend.
bagh....
*crosses fingers*
im out
~~kris~~

sneaky sneaky

2005-11-07T04:36:01Z

so i found an Lj.....and i read it.

yes yes i agree....i know its not fair....but i had too...
its all Jay's falt...she told me.
lol
love ya!!!

by the way...cute....

LKSDJFAPLSKDJFL;AKSJDF
stuck on him...
i think not...
yeah i would run him over....if i could
lol

okay so what am i psycho now??
*girls will be girls*
~~kris~~

being 17 sux...

2005-11-01T04:20:56Z

okay...so i don't go out on Friday or fucking Saturday....
but i do go watch a movie on Sunday....
WAIT..did go out on Saturday....haha
drunk off my hizass...
lol
but yeah watch a scary ass movie on Sunday.....Saw2 i recomend it....
try not to cry okay.
anyways...tonight is halloween...and i cant do shit....
b/c my mom doesn't want me to go to a bar to see one of my good friends that is fixing to move to Finland....and yeah i promised that i would listen to his band play...like a looong ass time ago...and now the night is here..and i can't go.
i feel horrible...he came in today just to see if i was still comming...
i told him yes...and my mom has to turn around and say no...
and yeah...Ro has to turn around and ditch me for his girlfriend....i loved him more when he didn't have one...we were inseperable....and now i barely see him...and it sux. but i love the kisses on the forehead from him....i feel loved.
to tell the truth...right now i don't believe anyword from and living body with a penis....but Ro.
i hate being like all the hurt ones in this town...i feel soo emo...
but i really am....idk...this summer has torn my self esteem to shit.
i just wish Chris would stop comming around...i just wish he would have gone off with his dad...make my and as well as his life much easier...he didn't go b/c of the slut hes dating...
haha Nat!!! shank.
haha....
oh and that black eye....
bahaha.
okay so these gummie bears are fucking killing me...i think i just puked a little...
i wrote ro a letter today....it was pretty deep....me and ro never talk about the same thing over and over again...except for our NIGGA thing..lol
oh and that random possome convo.
haha
i hate having to miss him..
lol
i get to spend thanksgiving with him and his parents...its going to be fun...cause im the only one invited...YES!!
Nat can you see whats happening here....cause i don't...lol
everyone tells me so much shit about me and ro....right now we don't see eachother like that ya know...
plus...ally...i could never do that to her...even though...ya know. but still

**
you almost always pick the best times/to drop the worst lines/you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm/red flashing lights/but this time im not going to watch myself die.
I think i made it a game to play your game and let myself cry/buried myself alive on the inside/so i can shut you out and let you go away for a long time

I guess its okay for you to die away/i guess if you have to trap yourself in your own/old ways/and if you want me back...your gunna have to ask.

i think that i chamber the the way that i felt that the day/ that i had my own time/i took advantage of myself and felt fine/but it was worth a night i caught a midnight flight and i made it home

I guess its okay for you to die away/i guess if you have to trap yourself in your own/old ways/and if you want me back...your gunna have to ask....nicer than that.
with my foot on your neck i finally have you....right where i want you

I guess its okay for you to die away/i guess if you have to trap yourself in your own/old ways/and if you want me back...your gunna have to ask....nicer than that.

**

yeah thats life right now....
and i don't know why....
Janette told me it was emo....which...it....is...
**shoots self**
but really and truly if i find a song that explains me at the moment...i will listen.
if i was feeling like a cowgirl....well...hell....i would listen to that shit..but i really dont find my self felling like that anytime soon...
well i am out..
i hope all is well with the 3 people that i have on here...haha
~~MUAH~~
~~KRIS~~

im scared of what tomarrow might bring....

2005-10-12T02:23:04Z

.....drama.....
agh....
i don't know how to help any of my friends....
and Lj left me...she was a comfort in the midst of all of this.
Im going to go insane...
heres the list
well its actually one thing.
GAY LOVERS cheating on eachother.
it seems to me that the only thing about being gay...is to find a lover...and cheat...and cause hurt...b/c to me all they want to do...is find some ass or "experiment".......
I met a really good friend through my friend Eric.
his name is Ryan.
and he just called me crying...b/c Eric broke up with him...
b/c eric doesnt want to be tied down...he wants to go around...
this is ridiculous...if this is how the gay life is....I WOULD NEVER DO IT....
all i see is the pain and frustration.
i see nothing good.
it hurts me to see other people hurt by this shit.
why do i have to be soo different?? why do i have to be sooo in tune with my emotions that i feel everyones pain....im brought down by so much shit with all of this...but i cant help it...its that thing that i have....
i don't know how to block people anymore...things are soo out of control...everyones mind is like taking over mine....its driving me nuts...i now have other peoples dreams too.
and thats a MAJOR trip...
i think i can't control the thing that i have anymore b/c Janet has abandoned me...she has left me to try the whole mind thing on my own....
god im soo fucking weird.
i freak people out b/c i always know what they are thinking...and i always finish peoples sentences...
another thing....i want someone to love....to hold...
i want someone to be my salvation again...i know that i wont be with someone forever...but for the time being...i just want to be happy...
Me and chris are not talking again...i seriously think that him and Julie are just going to get back together again...im gunna laugh so hard...but feel bad for him...its like he cant escape.
all he does now is drink until he cant think anymore. I know he just needs someone to talk to. i want to be that person again...no matter how bad i want to be with him again....i won't do it...yeah i would kiss him again...b/c hes fun..lol. but i don't think i could have that same feeling for him again.i hate it how he still feels the same for me..but yet he doesnt want to do anything about it.
and i will say it again, i love how hes scared of me.
lol
he just wants to be that party boy thats not tied down...lol. he wants to have that single life....why are people like this??
im sorry that im not like that.
have fun Eric, Ruben, and Chris...have fun going around...
eventhough...i know Ruben....is not really like that...Aaron freaked him out..lol
i knew it though...i knew that Ruben wanted him sooo bad...and then once he got it...after a month he wouldn't want it anymore..and notice that its not that great.
lol
i feel bad b/c i sort of wished it upon him.
i told him...and he said that he hated it that i was right.i told him though...i told him to watch out and to be careful.
but yeah..no one listens to my thoughts...its scary b/c they are always true.
I love you Nat...i hope your days have been lovely...
i miss Lj.
i miss having a sense of security...
where is my salvation???
im not going to chase for it...i know it will find me soon.
maybe i just need to graduate highschool
oh and love has no limits....
~~kris~~

haha...wow...

2005-10-05T02:05:35Z

agh...
i totally forgot what i was going to update on...
lol
but yeah...
well i caught the last wind of a fight b/t Chuck and Julie....
do you know how hard it was to just sit there and hear him slam the door...and Julie peel out of albertsons?? and just sit there and watch Chris walk to Brandons....
agh...i was wishing i had some rope to tie myself to the pole i was standing next to...Nat i wish you were there...you would have laughed...it was pretty dramatic...
well i made the mistake of calling him and and then sending him a text.
well i saw him today in the back of the store.....and yeah...we tried to talk to eachother..but all that came out was some attitude from the both of us....
i wanted to laugh and give him the finger but then he turns around and says "im just kidding" in his little kid voice...and walked off to the pallet...lol
so i just laughed and pretended to talk to Brandon....
ha...we are soo weird...one day we were fighting in the back in front of Steven...and then Chris tries to tackle me out the loading doors....
it was fucking scary...haha..i wander what would have happened if we fell out the doors...that would be something to tell Julie. right??
Natalie you would be the one to tell her...lol
then she would shank you and then you would be beside me and Chris in our beds...and all you would be able to mutter was..."what the fuck were yall thinking....dumbassess....by the loading doors..." and then you would laugh your funny little laugh...
haha
okay
lol
gaga
so yeah...Lindsey is moving back on Sunday!!!! Im going to cry...b/c i looove her...
by the way...Me and Kevin are no more...and guess who the one was to decide that....
meeeeee!!! arnt you proud of me?? good..lol
When i told Ro about Kevin "accidently" hitting me in the face....Ro wanted to fucking kill him...lol I love Ro!! hes my best buddy...and i love how everyone thinks we are like secretly together....
all i can do is laugh at that....
eww...
gross...thats like unwanted coodies...lol
Kevin says that me and Ro are going to get married one day....Ro goes
"heh....yeah...whatever...but i would still never do her...."
"hehe....neither would i...i mean ha..i would do myself...but not you...."
it was the funniest thing ever...
aaa our conversations are funny...
Nat!! your a bridesmaid...
but i didn't get the whole thing on my comment....
at all..
im the blonde in this case lol
love ya lady!!
p.s.
i can't do my algbra 2 homework b/c i don't have a calculator.....
*shoots self*
~~kris~~

well...September is over bitches..

2005-10-02T23:51:09Z

well things lately have been a little crazy.
Me and Kevin are a constant roller coaster...i don't quite know what to do with this kid...
i fuckin took care of him when he was sooo fucking drunk last night....he said thank you to me at work...but last night he was an ass to me the whole time..and today at work...was just awkward...he was just...i don't know...
My mom found out...or let me know today that she knows that i smoke....tis wonderful right??
im not in trouble or anything...i just feel like shit...but things will be better.
NAT fucking sung to me today!!! I feel sooo special...i love that lady...lol..haha lady!! *Sweet Child of MIne!!!!* lovely song i shall say
um...party'd all damn weekend...and now im feelin it...i was soo fucking tired at work today...and thats another thing i just didn't want to put up with Kevins shit today at work...
oh...the reason why i was tired was b/c i talked to my first boyfriend from like sixth grade....we talked until 1:30 this morning...lol
just catching up...like old friends do.
right?
well thats all for now...
Alyssa i hope things are well...
im scared to ask you things anymore...
i just don't want to get into your business you know....since thats all i ever do...
i can't believe you said that...i really cant...but its whatever...